I got your message and was grateful for the clarification that you were not, in fact, drunk or suicidal. So I thought I'd write you my two cents.
I see you've been doing some thinking and I'm glad you came out of it with clearer priorities; I'm proud to call you my extraordinarily talented, smart, funny friend and I enjoy our perpetually derailed conversations. But I also get what you're saying. Not every one has the patience to get to know people like you.
Making new friends as an "adult" is a different dynamic and so is staying in contact with old ones.
Having to deal with the expectations and judgement of entirely new social circles is hard; some people just move on or forget or decide that we are no longer relevant in their lives. People will put us down for what we do, for what we like. And so it goes.
Nevertheless try not to blame yourself for others' behaviour towards you. When people are mean it is but a scratch usually a twisted reflection of their own shitty selves. You can't stop this from happening, but you don't deserve to live in doubt or fear of what people´s real feelings or thoughts are. These are pointless thoughts that lead nowhere.
All we can do is try to be honest, nice and stay open to communication and you do this marvellously: simply being yourself is the purest display of confidence.
The rest is up to the world, but never mind them.
Don't let real life and real characters get you down. We are story makers, they can be but secondary if we wish.
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